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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

8 Simple Pokers for Dating My Poker

A mediocre football game in the background and a pretty tempered but enthralling game of poker in the foreground.


A murder of eight boys partook in poker tonight, and yes, in this metaphor we are crows. While Matt Prime made his way into the victors circle and Keith walked away the win total champ, overall it was a pretty even match-up of wits and wishes.


A couple noteworthy hands came at the expense of Rob and Scott. Both of whom's losses mirrored each other like serendipity but with less Cusack magic. They lucked into Trip Tens but their opponents, Keith and Brady respectively, had the other ten with a slightly higher kicker. Kicker, more like a Dick-er. (hold for applause)


Also, history was made tonight by resident table grouch Keith when he found himself holding the elusive Royal Flush. The all Diamond stunner left every jaw on the floor. It has never been seen before, and perhaps will never be seen again. What a night of non-Cusack magic.


Outside of poker we talked House of the Dragon and ranked the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. And by we, I mean mostly Matt Prime, who puts Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare at number one, likely only because it gave the world The Goo Goo Dolls I'm Awake Now single, a song which any Goo Goo Dolls cover band should be lucky to play.


Speaking of Krueger, we made a fun run of Freddy puns to inspire Matt C. possible Halloween costume. There was Machete Krueger, Bready Krueger, J. Paul Getty Krueger, but the winner was the simple, but tasty, Spaghetti Krueger. Can't wait for the costume reveal next week.


Also, Scott read out the 8 (surprisingly not so) Simple Rules for dating my teenage daughter from the show no one watched based on the book no one read. RIP to John Ritter, you went out with whatever the opposite of a bang is.


We also mentioned the recent poker cheating scandal of Robbi Jade Lew. Despite talking about it for twenty minutes, none of us have any idea how to recreate the grift, if it even was a grit, on the PokerNow site, so the conversation was basically worthless.


Lastly, there may have been a check city bandit during the game, but the recording device this blog uses to keep minutes conventionally went dead during the moment. Guess that bandit/hero/lover will never be court marshaled and his good name shall live on.


Chip Leader: Matt Prime


Check City Champ: Rob, Honestly and without fault


Can't Get Rid Of This Fucking Couch Award: Matt Vass



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