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Austin Pokers: The Cards That Shagged Me

An intimate but boisterous group populated the table on this fateful night of poker.

And while there were a couple big wins, the night will mostly be remembered for the brutal loses faced by Mr. Martin "John Lennon" Rickman in what is now referred to as the The Tragedy of Marbeth. While Martin was playing by the book throughout the night, the table's algorithm was indeed using its own rules. The most difficult face off to stomach was when he went head to head with Scotty "Yoko Ono" Meslow and while Martin had a confident Straight against Scott's two pairs, the deathblow of a Queen of Spades came swimming down the river. Scott walked away with a full house and the win, Martin just sat silent in the face of defeat. You'll get them next time buddy, the table is now your biggest foe to conquer.

There were a couple decent runs, particularly by guest player Matt Lawrence towards the end of the night. Additionally, Brady busted out early but managed to claw his way back to almost even.

We also decided to split the group of eight players into two teams for win total. Cleverly and hornily dubbed the Peaches and Eggplants, we used the corresponding emoji's to denote which boys belonged to which tribes. And despite their best efforts, The Excellent Eggplant dominated the Peach Pals from start to finish. It wasn't a race of inches but feet.

Aside from poker, early on in the night Keith was unable to utilize his Zoom Camera. We've only been doing this little digital game for two years now, so the technological learning curves are still present. It was hilarious however to have an entirely black "Keith Bennet" square on Zoom that once in awhile would grumble about people raising 80 chips. Eventually, Keith hacked his phone (aka just opened the Zoom app there) and came back to life. And we all cheered...for ten minutes straight.

Also, conversations about our favorite colors and how crazy Christian Bale looks in the new Thor trailer were spun up. We also all took turns doing our best Christopher Walken impression. Matt Cohen was easily the winner with what I'll generously say was like a C+ Walken. I'm Walken Here.

Plus we all debated how much money each of us would spend to go see Coldplay with opener The Lumineers if this concert hypothetically existed. Robyn wasn't present to say something insane and true to herself like $8000, so Martin was the high bidder at $40 bucks including ticketmaster fees. That'll keep baby Apple in Goop equipped formula for sure.

Chip Leader: Scott

Check City Champ: Rob

The Award for longest phone conversation about "DayCare" at ten o'clock at night goes to: Scott

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