As the world took to the stadiums and swimming pools of Paris going for glory, The other side of the pond welcomed the best poker players Team USA has to offer as they chased their dreams of medals...and pretzels.
The table began with a Slim Six but the hands were heavy and the action was fast. And with the promised arrival of East Coast Boys Josh and Kevin, it was decided to truly go Olympic and split into equal teams for Win Total. Josh would later join Eve, Scott, and Matt Cohen as team Medal and Kevin, assuming his play and pop-up didn't go long, would rally with Martin, Rob, and Keith as team Pretzel. The night began fairly cordial. Some modest wins, some recoverable loses. The win total stayed pretty tight, even when Josh showed up in the second hour and had some back to back to back victories.
However, when Kevin rose from the evening's twilight, salty and buttered up, twisted and hardened, like a true champion, the night was essentially over for the early boys and girl. In a matter of thirty-ish minutes, Kevin secured 4 wins, and almost forty dollars in profit. He came to play, he came to slay, and the rest of had to shasay away...pretzel medal.
Outside of Kevin's carby beatdown, there was a lively discussion about which current Olympic events we think we could master and which non-events we very much think should be included in the 2028 Los Angeles games. Scott, hubris be thy name, confidently claimed that he could see the podium of any event with enough time, but chose Archery as his preferred field. Sharp Shooting and gymnastics were also mentioned but the real triumphs came from the wishing well. Matt Cohen could see gold in Making the same joke ovr and over relay. Rob would score big in going pee at midnight with the lights off slalom. Martin would show American dominance in Speed Dishwasher Removal. Stay steady Biles and Phelps, we're coming for those pretty little necklaces.
Beyond Olympic glory, we talked at great length about divorce movies that don't center around divorce. Twister, Con-Air, Die Hard, and Liar, Liar all made the cut, so if some eager reader is looking to put a Letterbox list together, we got you off to a good start.
We also relived our favorite white male un-canceled stand comedians favorite bits from the years: Donald Trump. Man, that dude may be bad at politics and humanity, but he sure can turn a phrase. Hannibal Dinner?! I hardly Hannibal know her, am i right?!
Josh also hated Deadpool & Wolverine so badly that he quit his job. So maybe Ryan Reynolds can fork over some of that sweet Mint Mobile money as an amends.
Chip Leader: Kevin
Check City Champ: Kevin 2: Electric Bugaloo
MonekyBone-Head Of The Year: Scott
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