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Interview with the Vampoker

As promised, our fearless leader Scott invited us to a blood curdling night of terror poker that won't soon be forgotten.


Like any great horror movie, Scott started the evening out as banally as possible. He encouraged all his guests to play a simple hand of cards and once it ended with ,Josh taking the modest pot,...the first twist of the night emerged!


Scott announced that Josh, following in the footsteps of his beloved Phillies by starting with an early lead, would be pronounced the killer of the evening. Everyone else was a human or just flesh for the Josh Monster to feast on. If Josh beat a player, they died, and turned to blood. However, if Josh was beaten by the same human twice, then that brave soul become the towns new killer and Josh was dead/blood.


The rules seem simple when written above, but it did take us a couple of minutes to get them down. To be fair, we were all distracted by Keith's cool dragon costume so you can't really blame us. Eventually, like any third act horror cast, we caught on. As far as killers go, Josh was pretty much Dahmer episode one, no victims yet but still creepy yet fuckable. So the killer crown was passed to Keith, and soon then Rob, and then to guest player Matt Lawrence before an hour had gone by and Scott announced...the second twist.


The killer (Matt Lawrence) could pick a cohort to join his murder cause. Matt kept it in the family and chose Matt "Batt" Cohen "Bohen" to be his ally. All the dead bodies, in this case exclusively former killers, were also given a non-lifeline and were resurrected as zombies. If a killer beat the four humans remaining, same rules apply, they turn to death blood. But if a zombie beat a human then that human joined the army of the dead. Also, if a zombie beat a killer twice, or three times, it's still debatable, then the killer would also become a brain feasting fiend. Also, it's worth mentioning, the reward for all this was win total, which is pretty lackluster...but we'll all fight to the death to get it!!


In the second hour, the zombies had a rampage and by the end of the night all humans were turned green and the killers were fighting with their last few hands to stay above ground. Matt Cohen went first and while Matt Lawrence did make it to check city, he played it honestly, and as expected, that led to his downfall. The Zombies reigned supreme and the win total payout was enjoyed by the wind and no one else. Good spooks!


Outside of poker, we praised the Mark Duplass performance in Creep and had ourselves a good time debating the supremacy of the Mount Rushmore of horror franchises (Halloween, Nightmare, Friday, and umm, there wasn't a fourth so I'll throw in Fast & Furious).


Also, Josh has gone full Philadelphia and spent most of the game rooting for the Phillies rather than his own life. Matt shared photos and memories of his recent Ghoul Ghoul Dolls holiday spectacular and the table was somewhere between tepid and mildly tickled to see the upcoming Violent Night.


Brady is also apparently dead, but we will never forget him. Long live the King of Staten Island as he was almost always called.


Chip Leader: David


Check City Champ: Scott


Willing to pay the top most dollar for Waba Grill: Chris



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