top of page

Once A-Poker Time In Hollywood

It was all stars and magic as this little poker table went to La La Land in this edition of Chaos Poker.

A slimed down crew consisting of Brady, Kevin, Chris, Martin, Robyn, guest player Matt Lawrence and gamemaster and constant forgetter that he was gamemaster Rob attempted to mix their poker skills with their movie trivia skills to...well, let's just call them results.

What was essentially a normal game of poker had a couple of quizzical wrinkles from. Rob popped hypothetical popcorn and lit up the hypothetical silver screen by forcing player to name films by various A-list actors and actresses before they could even enter each poker hand. Similar to Kevin's wild chaos night some months back, Rob utilized a single die and then received four performers from the players. Then each big screen celebrity was assigned a number from said die, with two freeplay spots. The actors that were posited listed below.


2-Tom Cruise (Suggested by Matt Lawrence)

3-Matt Damon (Suggested by Robyn)

4-Anna Kendrick (Suggested by Brady)

5-Robin Williams (Suggested by Chris)


At the beginning of each hand, the die was rolled and gave its randomly chosen fate to the table. If one of the actor's numbers came up, each poker participant had to name a movie that performer was in in thirty seconds or less before calling or raising. If they folded, they were considered a coward, and didn't have to participate. However, if after 30 seconds no answer was given, or a repeated movie was said, the player was forced to do a quick impression of said actor in order to continue with the hand. For example, if Tom Cruise was chosen, then Brady would start by saying something fun like Top Gun. Then Chris would mention a movie he occasionally watches on weekend mornings by saying Magnolia. Then it would get to Robyn and she would stutter for a bit and not be able to name another Cruise Classic in 30 seconds. She would then do her best "Show me the money!!" before the game could continue. Once the hand was over, the movies would reset and any film, mentioned or not, was back on the table when Thomas Cruise was rolled again.

Generally speaking, and to no one's surprise, this became insane. Turns out Anna Kendrick was everyone's lynch pin until we stumbled upon her forgettable, but valuable for these purposes, work in the Twilight Saga. Matt Damon comically only came up a few times much to Robyn's dismay, but when he did, she proudly Gus Van Santed her way through all the movies the Damester did with the notorious G.V.S. The biggest disappointment, however, came in the fact that Martin didn't get a chance to pick an actor in the first hour, which he claimed would have been the incomparable Johnny Knoxville, everyone's favorite, and only, Bad Grandpa. At check city we reset the names to the below and boy did it take a turn for the exact same thing that happened in the first hour.


2-Dame Meryl Streep (Suggested by Matt Lawrence)

3-Dame George Clooney (Suggested by Brady)

4-Dame Adam Sandler (Suggested by Martin)

5-Dame Scarlett Johansson (Suggested by Kevin)


Turns out, this yielded many more impressions instead of film naming, most of which were by Robyn, all of those being the words "Umm What?". Which just goes to show you there's no juicy roles for women in Hollywood these days.

Outside of the The insane imaginarium of Doctor Robnasus, Martin did go to toe to toe with Robyn in a truly devastating All In duel that saw Robyn catch luck with a full house river draw. Martin went from being Hot in Cleveland to just being in Cleveland after that hand. Although, some would argue that Cleveland is the third best city in Ohio, so it could be worse.

Chip Leader: Rob

Check City Champ: Matt Lawrence

Award for not remembering Matt Damon was in True Grit: Everyone

11 views0 comments


bottom of page