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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

Shockpoker 3: Season Of The Flop

A mist fell over the table this evening, and it was a mist full of twists, for it was a twisty mist.


Shockpoker returned, and this time, it was the same as last time! There was a killer assigned at the beginning of the night and if that killer killed by beating someone in a hand, they became blood, and then mid-way through the night the blood became new killers and those killers could turn humans into zombies and the zombies could also turn humans into zombies and the killers into zombies as well, but they needed two wins to be zombified. And all this was in pursuit of the reward of win total, or split win total, or non-win total. Simple enough.


Keith was endowed with the killer's curse after winning the first hand of the night. And what a curse this turned out to be. Despite his villainous attempts at murder through the first forty minutes, he was consistently out carded by his would-be victims. In fact, it was only Josh and his Philly Pride that lead to his bloody downfall before the first check city.


It is worth mentioning that while Keith wasn't able to do much slicing, returning table champion Robyn was back at her usual schemes and collected a hefty forty+ profit before departing. It was a slap in the face we all should have expected when Bullet Annie got back in the saddle.


Once the second hour of poker started, the zombie twist which was perfectly explained above did make the game far more interesting. Chris was the first to fall victim to the land of the dead, in a completely justified and fair manner after being the last to fold before the flop against Keith. However, he was closely followed by Martin, Rob, and Scott who met their early graves as the stakes got higher. Pretty soon Matt Vass, likely distracted by his current duties as a Juror in a very important case he can't disclose, lost his life as well.


It was down to Eve and Brady to be the last humans standing. While it seemed it'd be a joint effort win, Brady unfortunately fell victim to Rob's cruel spooky flush (it was just a regular flush, but still, BOO!). This left Eve with the enviable title of Final Girl, and this literal Final Girl walked way with both the win total and an extra five dollar survivor cache. See you in the sequel Peyser!


Outside of Spooker, we talked Exorcist movies, both old and new, Saw movies, mostly new, and Keith and Scott's recent trip to a frightful all night screening of horror movies most nerds only dream about.


Matt Vass, in his never ending pursuit of being the most literate of the group, spoke on his recent apathy for Ready Player One. This did lead to the reveal of the greatest poem written by man, particularly the author behind RPO. It's worth a Google, especially if you're a beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-male. Leave safe search off.


There was also a return to a conversation from the archive as more folks have now, at least in some capacity, viewed the cinematic triumph that is Strays. Mostly out of curiosity to find what joke Rob considers the greatest in movie history. Brady incorrectly guessed via private text, so the first one to figure out the riddle wins. The prize? A lifetime of happiness.


Brady also introduced the newest member to the Morphy Family, Phoebe! She is already everyone's favorite poker mascot and even though her dads now a zombie, he'll still be a great father from beyond the grave!


Chip Leader: Robyn "First Hour" Kanner


Check City Champ: Rob "Defeater of Martin The Bandit" Roelofs


Never Watches the Third Quarter of Any sports Game: Martin "The Bandit Who Doesn't Watch the Third Quarter of Games" Rickman.




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