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The Dark Knight Raises

Eight players, four teams, two hours, one well lit WeWork in Glendale.


What started as a lighter night of poker in the first hour between eight regulars ended in a brutal win total bloodbath race during the second half. Despite this, fun was had by all and chips were lost by few.


At the beginning of the evening, we welcomed our fearless leader Scott back from his adventures in Puerto Rico, and his souvenirs for the group was splitting the table into win total duos and politely not giving everyone COVID via his infected child. The twosome of Scott and Rob aka the Coffin boys (get it, like coughing, cause of the aforementioned COVID!) took a promising lead in the first hour with a couple of solidifying wins by Rob lucking into dos full houses. And despite a lot of promising energy, Eve and Chris didn't live up to the expectations CB has been bragging about on the streets of SoCal. They barely squeezed by three wins in the first half. Thus dubbing themselves team clowns it seemed hope was lost for this team of two. However when check city passed it was no time for joking around. They clawed back some, but still finished in the bottom position of win total. But what a ride it was.


Also, in the second hour, Brady and Matt Cohen, dubbed the weird penis disgusting boys, took a hatchet to the Scotty Robby lead and ended up slaughtering the win total in the end. Half of of their desire to do this was for the extra three bucks each, half of it was to make Rob squirm when he admitted his least favorite part of poker was the win total factor. A real weird dick move from some real weird dick guys.


Outside of poker Chris tried to get us all to land on a memorable line from a movie released within the last fifteen years. Admittedly this seemed like an easy task at first, but after burning through several Dark Knight quotes in our best Bale bellows, we ran dry pretty quick. They just don't make movies like they used to, so we'll all have to enjoy the punchy unforgettable dialogue from classics like Hook. (Rufio! Rufio!)


Matt Vass also continues to impress us with his lack of poker knowledge after almost three years in the sport. Eve actually continues to impress us with her epic cooking prowess and ability to play poker at the same time as making unbelievably delicious sounding cookies. And Matt Cohen will be impressing us soon with his upcoming horror Zine. He's looking for future submissions, so if you know someone who wants to pitch a listicle of possible Tinder Profiles of slasher icons or a collection of passably non-distracting horror movies to get finger bang to in college, send him his way.


Chris also mentioned that Rob is the premier place in the Hollywood area for all your printing needs. This includes black and white and color. So if you need a friend with ink who doesn't stink, look up Robbie Doobie's Printing Lobby. It's where the pros go.


Most importantly, we found out that Matt Vas prefers spending time climbing literal mountains with literal strangers then spending an evening with his good friends. Just something to keep in mind if you're headed to San Diego soon. Bring a fanny pack and a light trail snack, otherwise Matty Mountain Man Vass is not interested.


Chip Leader: Scott


Check City Champ: Chris


Emily's Most Favorite Person in LA: Rob

Emily's Least Favorite Person in LA: Chris




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