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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

The Poker Of The Dog

When the Scott's away, only a very small amount of boys will play.

But the ones who do play with fire in their hearts and their chips on their sleeves.


It was a party of five tonight as Martin, Rob, Brady, and Matts-a-Plenty sat down at the virtual table to partake in the cowboy game of poker. While the night stayed pretty steady there was an epic rise and epic fall of one Matt Cohen. He fell from a one-two punch when Rob beat him with a straight followed by Brady throwing a second blow with a flush draw.


However, Matt wasn't the only one to smell the rough fists of sweet mistress poker. Rob also gravely miscalculated, out loud, a brutal hand early in the night. When Martin went all-in, Rob confidently monologued that there was no flush on the board, no straight on the board, and while he had the lowest set of trips he, was confident Martin was attempting to two pair his way to victory. However, there certainly was a straight on the board, and Rob can't count to ten. So Martin took his winnings, and Rob's pride.


Outside of poker we briefly mentioned the Oscars, but all collectively agreed we've had enough slap talk for one lifetime. Instead we focused more on a recent favorite topic of this group, Elden Ring. This time, however, it was at a much more philosophical level as Matt Vass and Matt Cohen pontificated over whether the Rings of Elden have caused Nintendo to pimp out its upcoming Zelda property to compete. It was enlightening, sorry, Eldlightening.


We also all got very excited for the upcoming Formula 1 race on the Vegas strip. Our resident casino lizard Martin was stoked, but still worried that this will, assumed correctly, be a mess as the strip is a crowded stew of mayhem that can't be controlled by fast European motor sports.


Martin also coined the term Smokin Aces. This is when you start the hand with Pocket Aces but finish it much like Jeremy Piven's career. Forgettably.


Matt Vass also beguiled us with stories from his recent trip abroad, specifically the fact that he scuba dived (doved? duved?) in fifty degree water! Talk about shrinkage, the boy is only 6'7 inches now!


Also, another hilarious Matt Vass kerfuffle, early in the night he somehow got hot pepper spice in his nose!! Basically the last hole in ones head one want it in! This resulted in this spicy man sticking his entire schnoz in an entire glass of milk. This really happened. On ZOOM! In front of all our human eyes. And half of you dorks missed it!


Chip Leader: Brady


Check City Champ: Rob


Largest Connection of International Art: Matt Vass

Number of pieces: One





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