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The Super Mario Betters

After three weeks of silence, the longest drought of non-poker since the table started, the crew returned to digital felt hungry and determined.

With nine seats filled, we immediately split into three win total teams: sorted as masks, spaghettis, and leggy space invaders. However, It quickly became a two horse race between the spaghetti squad and the west Coast Reparatory Players featuring Matt Cohen brings you The Masks. Ultimately, the night went to the boys on stage with The Masks narrowly finding their way to victory in the last few hands.

The table did showcase a few highlights in the form of Eve's tempered but impressive four of a kind win against Matt Vas presents a Full House for once. Unfortunately the return of our favorite Philbilly Josh Rivera ended in a blood bath for our boy who went big with two all ins but walked away penniless. Despite bad beats from Rob and Brady, it was still a delight seeing Josh, who had to leave early, mostly to prepare for the excitement that will be Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 3, the movie he's been looking forward to the medium. Paul also had a rough night of junk cards which saw him circling the drain at a glacial pace. He stayed above water for two hours, and did earn a few wins towards the second half, but he will be nursing his wounds for the next seven days. However, unlike the lead singer of The Tragically Hip, he'll be back soon.

Outside of poker we discussed the recent installment of the Evil Dead franchise, which both Matt Cohen and Josh agreed is a bloody good time. Video game Dredge also got some praise from the table, if only as a fun time killer to get you to Zelda-eve.

We also were tasked with assigning ourselves which piece of a burrito we'd all be. Scott is the tortilla, cause he's white and holds us all together. Chris and Rob and the cheese and corn. Matt Vas is the cilantro, because 10% of the time he feels like someone put soap in our mouths. Eve is the guacamole, cause she earned it, and Matt Cohen is the beans, cause he's the most musical and farts a lot. All of these feel like insults as I write them, but in the moment, it seemed like we were bigging ourselves up. Either way, I'd still eat.

We then had a lengthy discussion on movies of the past that have aged particularly poorly, with Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Caddyshack and Revenge of the Nerds getting the brunt of the critique. However, while Chris and Rob remembered the problematic third act sex scene differently, neither way is worth exploring or examining much further. It's gross and weird and the true revenge of those nerds was how much time of our night was wasted talking about it.

In a major shift of tone, congratulations is worth bestowing on two members of our little poker family. Matt Vass finally popped the question to his long time girlfriend Emily, and surprisingly that question wasn't asking her opinion on which early Iron & Wine song holds up best. Our boy is engaged! She may have said yes in D.C. but who knows where they'll say I do, but here's hoping it's on the west coast so the one friend Matt's made in San Diego can give a speech that starts with something like "Marriage is better than finishing four under par when it matters..."

Also, the gorgeous tall dark and Brady will soon be welcoming a new baby girl into our chaotic world. Big shout out to Kathy who's knocking these trimesters out the park like it's no big deal. Our group we'll soon be introduced to one Roberta Christina Scott Meslow Morphy. Can't wait to meet you, you future poker phenom.

Also, worth mentioning because it needs to be explained for Eve, Penultimate means the last one in a series of things; second last. Now she knows.

Chip Leader: Brady

Check City Champ: Brady

Soon to be murdered by the notorious San Diego Selfie Sending Strangler: Matt Vas

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