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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

Top Pair: Pokerick

4 Zoom's, One Game, All-In


The night started off a bit wobbly as our Scottmander in Chief was busy for the first half hour of poker. We're safely assuming he was teaching his baby which They Might Be Giants album really bop. I mean you're never too young to realize Glean is a mediocre album that for some reason hipsters love. Because of this, Vice President Morphy took the helm and started the game on time. Almost immediately things went off the rails.


The Zoom we've been using for the last two years (which was discovered later to belong to Jen's former employer) suddenly had a 40 minute window. So it became a game of duck duck, sign off sing back on, as we made this free with ads version last the entire two hours and change.


Despite this, poker was had by one and all and while Brady walked away with the biggest bank roll, there were some exciting ups and downs for nearly everyone at the table. Most notably, Martin tested his luck several times with some brazen All-In battles. Despite his best efforts, he went 1/5, which seems mathematically improbable. For what it's worth, 8/8 of the other players at the table love Martin, which also seems mathematically improbably, but so very true.


Robyn also started the night off hot but ended up losing all her bullets to Brady and after a slow decent to the bottom, she opted to enjoy some well deserved sleep rather than suffer through another half hour of poker. This left some space for others to take the All-In Queens crown, and towards the end of the evening that spot was graciously filled by Eve. In the last ten minutes, and with barely three dollars in her purse, she All-In'd three times and swept. Another mathematically improbability.


Outside of poker, we discussed everyone's go to karaoke song. While some bangers were mentioned, including Fergalicious, Dragula, and any Red Hot Chili Peppers joint, Robyn did make it clear that Bent by Matchbox Twenty is the signature dish enjoyed by her as well as the few, the proud, the Matchrines.


Matt Vass also spoke on the importance of elephant culture. Funnily enough, Elephant Culture is what my grandpa used to call Weight Watchers. He's dead now, so there's a silver lining.


We also, as the small society of misfits we be, are excited to congratulate Eve on her recent engagement. The ring was worth the hike! We hope both of you spend a happy life together much closer to sea level.


Chip Leader: Brady


Check City Champ: Eve


Trying his very best not to be reminded about his recent haircut: Chris...my bad.


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