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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

Avatar: The Way Of Poker

The third of whatever the opposite of an annual poker tournament was held this past Saturday and it was unforgiving from start to finish.


17 brave players gave their swords, axes, and most importantly time to the competition. The brigade was split into two tables, and while this author only has the perspective of the "Best Blue" table, there were notifications that the "Red" table had an early first casualty in the form of our very own Mayor Robyn. She did what she does best, shot her guns and go all in, and unfortunately Sarah dodge the bullet, and left Robyn penniless but proud.


A few others fell as the afternoon progressed and eventually 7 souls, both of the original guild and some new players, fell to the hands of fate. We then reconvened in a final table that included the below bombastic bunch (heritage included)


Scott-Red Table

Matt Vass-Red Table

David-Red Table

Sarah-Red Table

Chris-Red Table


Brady-Blue Table

Martin-Blue Table

Keith-Blue Table

Josh-Blue Table

Ryan-Blue Table


An even split among the fearless crew left the fans divided but happy, with Martin coming in as the table leader, the blood didn't take long to shed once the game started.


A few fell early, including Scott and Keith, and while Matt Vass surprisingly stayed alive due to his "literally never play unless demanded "strategy, he eventually finished eighth, much to spectator and occasional player Kevin's delight. It was the highlight of both their evenings.


Soon it was down to the final four, and at this point the survivors all assured themselves cash prizes. The remaining boys club held Brady, Chris, David, and first time player long time dad Ryan. Ryan had taken a commanding lead early on and while the remaining three slots seemed up in the air, Chris was the first to fall and collect his buy-in back. Being less wussish in 2023 has paid off, and pay off is thirty bucks.


Now here's were the game got really interesting. The Chiefs did a crazy ass trick play.


Now here's were the day got REALLY interesting. While Brady and Ryan were holding six figures worth of chips in their hands, David was barely hanging on but still breathing. With a meager but respectable 400 and some chips, he called, and went all in. He then lucked into a full house which gave him the win. Cool. Then he did it again, same deal, all-in, and landed a full house. Very cool! Then he did it a third time!!! Same situation, same solution, and we were all flabbergasted. In just three hands he turned his 400 and some chips into 4000 and some chips!! A ten fold win that was still very much dwarfed by the other two players totals, but still. Impressive!


But the story doesn't stop there. My man Lumb found himself on a bit of a downfall again. But classic David, he went all in and MOTHERFUCKING GOT ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING FLUSH!! The dude was unstoppable. Well, I mean, just in the sense of not going broke. What a rollercoaster of emotion that will go down in history as the most impressive and accidental trick play the table's ever seen.


Like all good stories, though, David's time had to have an ending. But what a way to go out. Enjoy your third place monies you beautiful lucky bastard.


And then there were two. Brady, an extremely focused and serious player, and Ryan, a father who's son demanded more attention then the table, and like a good dad, he split his time. After some back and forth and back and forth and a soup served too hot to Ryan's lineage, the play at home dad eventually and unsurprisingly walked away the new poker champ of poker night. Congratulations! The entire table both welcomes and fears you playing with us in the future.


Big big big Winner: Ryan Jordan


Probably eating just the right temperature pizza: Ryan Jordan's Son


*Photographic reactions to David's insane flush streak.




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