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Writer's pictureRobert Roelofs

Pokerween!

The Night of the Living Dead arrived this evening at the table as the Poker Crew faced a chaotic night of blood, guts, and glory.


The crew was whisked off into their very own slasher flick when Matt Cohen was dubbed the tables Slasher in residence and took his vengeance out on us one by one.


Some humans were turned into blood, some blood was turned into zombies, and Brady was the final girl. I feel like I'm explaining a bad acid trip, but alas, it was a hoot and a half.


The rules were not so simple, but essentially, any person Matt Cohen beat was turned into blood. Then, at the halfway marker of the game, Scott became the Devil That Went Down to Minnesota and announced that not only could Matt elect a secondary killer, in which he enlisted the help of Matt Vas, probably so he wouldn't have to remember a second name. Also, all bloods turned into Zombies. Zombies could now zombify humans and bloods and could even attack the two slashers, but it would take two attacks to turn them into zombies. Also Martin was a syringe at some point. Everyone got it?


While Robyn walked away with the most chips and most wins on paper, the rules of ShockPoker meant that whichever human or slasher made it to the end walked away with the grand prize of two dollars per victim! In a not so shocking twist Brady, the final human, made a deal with the demon and offered to split the winnings with Slash Cohen if they both survived. Matt Vas Cohen was zombified earlier in the night, so he was ineligible apparently. And thus, the East Side Zombies and West Side Bloods fate were sealed as we went into the final hands with both Brady and Slash Slashen still alive.


Outside of the blood bath, our little crew did attempt to give a bit of backstory to each of our horror flick characters, and while some were short and sweet, Robyn gave us the lengthy tale of Bullet in her Butt Anna or something. Honestly, at hour three of the epic poem, I tuned out, so I'm not really sure who she was or where she's from or why she has a bullet in her butt, but please email her. She'll be happy to fill in the details.


Needless to say, while some off us where left undead and others unscathed, the first annual ShockPoker night was a rousing success and I'm sure we all are waiting for the sequel trailer to drop sometime next summer. Long Live Slasher Matt!


Chip Leader: Rotten Kaner


Check City Champ: Scott Mesghost


Spider-man's Secret Identity: Kreep Booo-nett





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