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The Tablemans

After an unplanned but needed holiday hiatus from poker, most of the usual suspects reconvened and were subject to both each others shenanigans, and the cruel river card algorithm of the table. For it twas a night we won't soon forget.

Martin, a man who's spent more time watching Bodies, Bodies, Bodies on planes than he has in his own bed over the last few weeks, returned with a vengeance. That vengeance earned him nearly fifty dollars in profit as we walked away the undisputed winner. A real underdog story that no one was rooting for.

However, it should be noted that Martin's biggest wins came at the expense of the fatal flaw in our favorite online poker hub. The tumultuous table seems to have a habit of switching the odds on the river so frequently that anyone brave enough to go All-In must do so expecting to lose even the surest of hands. This happened to Honest Rob a couple of times, once against the aforementioned Martin and again when facing a spirited Keith. We'd call foul and boycott, but there's no other safe haven for poker on the internet. So we're stuck with this menacing menace.

Scott also went out towards the end of the night, but with a promise of en extra fifteen minutes of play, he cockily brought back in for ten bucks. Then, as could be predicted, close to the final hand gave all that money to Martin. A beat colder then the St. Paul weather outside Scott's door.

Outside of Poker it was mentioned that Scott set a plane movie watching world record by viewing four full length flicks on his seven hour flight back from London. He also gets extra credit for suffering through Bram Stoker's Dracula, an Oscar winner that most of the table is apathetic to engage with. Good Job Scott! Cora will be proud to know this is your greatest accomplishment! Also, frequent guest player David shared the long lost photos from the 80's neo-future classic Chrome Lords. A very real, very human written movie that everyone should spend many hours trying to find.

The group also realized the key to sell any movie is to promise that all Twin Peaks fan will love the last two minutes. It works for literally every movie. Quick, think of a movie where this wouldn't be a draw?! Right, you can't! Fuck You!

We also stumbled on gold when Martin free-formed a pitch for a School of Rock sequel that would essentially be a shot for shot remake of the original, with the original cast (minus the dead one) and with the attached and earnest bit that he will claim he's never heard of the original. The plan is for him to go through frivolous legal action to prove this in order to get the film released. So be on the lookout for School Of Rock: The New Class, coming to torrent sites in 2024.

Martin also forced everyone to download an image to their computer of a guy who sort of looks like the dude from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. No one's even sure what the joke was, or why it was brought up, and we care to never find out. Take this secret with you to your grave Mr. Rickman.

Chip Leader: Brady

Check City Champ: Chris

More interested in salmon than Poker: Chris

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